Q: What’s the difference between a bass and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a bass.
Q: How do you reduce wind-drag on a bassist’s car?
A: Take the Domino’s Pizza sign off the roof
Q: What do you throw a drowning bass player?
A: His Amp.
Q: How many Pop bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The keyboard player does it with his left hand.
Q: What are the three most difficult years in a bass player’s life?
A: Second grade.
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A Bass Player.
Groupie Accidentally Sleeps With Bass Player
LOUISVILLE, KY – The day after The Academy Is concert, Victoria Jorgensen, 22, was terrified to realize that she had accidentally slept with the band’s bass player – mistaking him for someone important in the band. “I can’t believe how stupid I was,” said Jorgensen. “I mean, I went up to the guy and was like ‘are you in the band’ and he was all like, ‘yeah, I’m in the band’ so I did him. Then this morning I was telling my friends and I realized he was just the bass player. This happens to me all the time.” Jorgensen plans to do more research before sleeping with another band member. “This won’t happen again,” said Jorgensen. “If I’m going to sleep with someone, they’d better be important. I mean, I could find someone here in town as important as a bass player.”
Adam Siska, The Academy Is bass player, was unavailable for comment.
Q: What do you say to a Bass player in a three piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist’s arm?
A: A tattoo.